Monday, May 18, 2009

Independence is good; right?

This has been quite a week; on Wednesday in the early morning my daughter, only child delivered a lovely little baby girl; the process was pretty quick, not much pain; for me anyway, it was a great birthing experience, I was there for the whole experience; I will never forget that night, it was a highlight of my life. The baby is a welcomed addition to my family; she is beautiful, tiny and delicate, warm and cuddly. Mother, father, brother are all doing quite well. As a matter of fact she is doing so well, she does not need me; this time she is totally independent; as she should be at her age.
I taught her to be independent; strong, I taught her so well that she now handles a full time job, is a great mother and provider for her family; bottom line here is she does not need me anymore. I thought with the baby coming I would be going over to help out; nope, I call and get a cheerful, reply that all is well and she needs nothing from me at all; “relax mom, we are good” how can this be? With my grandson she was constantly calling with questions, visiting daily, now she is content in her home with her family.
This is good, I am elated for her; a special time in her life to be nested in her existence. I am rising above the feeling of not being needed so much; it is all good; different, but good.
For Mother’s Day the family gave me a beautiful Beta Fish, deep blue complete with a lively tank with lime green trim. We named the fist “Mr. Buffett” I talk to him, tap on the window; he seems to follow me around the room. Another being in the house is what I need; he requires little from me, this is good. But Mr. Buffett does not lie on my chest and fall asleep making soft cuddling noises, he does not snuggle in my neck nor feel warm, he will not grow into a young speaking child who calls me YAYA; he will swim around and eat.
I have a tendency to make the beings who surround me self sufficient and free. This is a good thing; isn’t it?

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