some thoughts on a rainy December night

I have a huge list of things to do when and if I retire; but bigger than my list of things to do is the things I won’t do.

I will not go to the bank between the hours of 12:00p and 2:00p; I will leave those times, especially on Fridays to those who have only one small hour a day to do all their banking.

I will not go the grocery store on weekends; during weekday lunch hours; or at 5:00p during the week; I will save this time for those who have no choice other than go on their way home from work or on precious time during weekends.

I will not go lunch at noon; I will go at 11:30a or 2:00p; I will let those who have limited time constraints have those hours to meet with friends and associates/friends from work; after all; waiting for a table is only for those with time on their hands.

I promise that all of the above will be especially honored during the Christmas season.

Can you tell I just came back from waiting in line at the bank on Friday in December while four retired people came to settle their accounts; I used half of my lunch hour; I am not happy.

Thanksgiving Day, Thanksgiving Day Good old Thanksgiving Day

We were going over the river and through the woods to mothers house for Thanksgiving dinner; we weren’t in a sleigh; a Jeep Liberty was the mode of transportation. My sister and I were cold and tired from working all morning parking cars at the annual Thanksgiving football game and probably overdoing the night before; we tend to get a little punchy and very silly when we set off on an adventure and Turkey day was no different.

A song came across the radio; a good one; Pearl Jam “Try to be a better man” ; so I began to sing; because the words were garbled; so were mine; well my dear sister; whose humor runs through the same vein as mine; began to belt out her thanksgiving version; which went “trying to find a butter knife”. We laughed so hard we shook; the song was re-sung sporadically throughout the afternoon; especially when we sat down to dinner with the butter knives starring at us.

I have relayed this story to many friends who shared in the laughter and image of the camaraderie of the two of us. The shear hilarity of the renaming of the song, is one for the books. This Thanksgiving jingle will go on for years; every time I use a butter knife I will think of the grey November day when a simple song became a lasting laugh out loud.

Thanks for many things in life; especially the humor we find with those we care so much about. .

Forty Five years ago today

She has been gone for forty five years today; I don’t like this day; I find myself sad and somewhat troubled all day long. It is not like there is a new void in my life; it is just there is a void which has never been filled in forty five years. I have lived my life without her being a part of it; she did not witness my high school graduation, did not go to my wedding(s) was not there for the birth of my daughter (but I felt her spirit); has never met her grandchildren. She died at forty seven years old; without experiencing many of the joys of life on earth: I believe she is happy where she is now.
When God takes something away from you he gives you something back and he/she did. My dad married a wonderful woman who was at my graduation, at my wedding and has been a terrific grandmother to my daughter; she reveilles in her role as GG (great grandmother) to my grandson. Without the void of my mother; there would be no younger sister who I am extremely close with; we share laughs and good times.
So today just as I have done for forty five years; I will be a little taken back in my daily routine; a little more pensive; and think of what would have been; but mostly be grateful for what I have.
Hopefully one day I will meet her again and fill her in on the past forty five years.

One wedding and a funeral

Last weekend I attended the wedding of a lifelong friend’s son; he married another lifelong friend’s daughter; what a great experience being surrounded by people I have known my whole life; enjoying each other and celebrating a new beginning. We reminisced; talked about our children; and grandchildren and discussed what foods “bothered” us and whatever exercise method we were trying to follow. Majority of the group were married; and have been forever; I, the single one for years; have lead an entirely different lifestyle; not better; not worse, just different. I watched as everyone paired off going to their rooms to get dressed; I was alone; for one minute I felt sad; then as opened the door the realization that being alone was fine; the room was mine to do as I pleased. The wedding was fun; the groom looked handsome; the bride looked happy; parents of the couple looked amazing. The ceremony was very intimate; the vows were nice and not too hard to live by. The Apache Indian verse captured by attention; same one I said so innocently twenty seven years ago in Arizona…….. We all danced together; took pictures in the photo booth of everyone misbehaving. The next day we gathered around for breakfast once again just enjoying the camaraderie of long time friendships. Through these occasions we celebrate our lives and each other; taking for granted we will see one another on the next special day.

This weekend I will attend the wake and funeral of another friend; he was a newer friend; a strong very admired individual who past away all too soon as the result of an accident. I will miss his energy, his friendly wave several times during the week as we passed by one another on the way to and from work. Events I attend will be minus his presence; his laughter. I will think of him often as his office was across from my house, which I rent from his family; when I am with his sisters I will think of their pain and feel empty for them.

So, two weekends; two totally different feelings and experiences; starting and ending. As trite as it may be; life is strange and we just have to hold on to every ounce of it; wrap it around ourselves; love each other and just laugh often and mean it.

dining on the drama......

As a fan of words, I love when some one strings together their thoughts and words producing a sentence or thought that literally stops me. These seldom incidents are usually scribbled on a pad next to my bed or on a cocktail napkin; I find them on television; in books and occasionally in real life.

One such depiction was heard on “Mad Men”; the almost too handsome Don Draper walked into the coffee break room where the secretaries were dabbing their eyes upon hearing the news of Marilyn Monroe’s death. He stood in the doorway observing the chatter and claimed “look at all of you dinning on the drama of others lives”. I literally froze in my chair; rewound the DVR tape and played it back; he had put gossip in its correct place.

I don’t like hear-say news; but at times find myself caught in the song and dance of others lives; it is natural to be curious; but when does the curiosity go over the edge turn ugly and untrue and worst of all hurtful?

During the course of conversation with a dear friend of mine recently; we both decided that our lives would be so much better if we could be kinder and more aware of what our words mean to others; go back to the basics of life; the golden rule of doing unto others…….. I am trying; but sometimes it is so very difficult.

I picked up People Magazine last night and realized I wasn’t just dinning on the drama of others; I was at a virtual banquet of all I could eat of other people’ drama. Then I picked up the daily newspaper; again what was I doing…………..thriving on the news of the Presidential election and what the candidates were doing.

I do know I am going on a diet; I will make my best effort to stop dinning on the drama; eating only the protein and vitamins of life; the unnecessary information will just have to left on the plate; or better yet thrown away

I would love to like the fall.....but

I want so badly tor reveille in the beautiful colors of fall; but I can’t; been around too long and have seen the end result; winter.

Wanted to wait until November 1st to turn on my heat; but woke up one morning to the temperature of 56 degrees; so I had no choice but to turn it on.

I won’t put away my favorite khaki shorts; I will hope for a sunny day so I can put them on with a tee shirt and pretend it is summer; I will however not look at my untanned winter dried legs.

I will reluctantly go to the basement and bring out the Suzio/Concrete scrapper I got for Christmas many years ago.

I will try to find bright summer color sweaters to wear in defiance of the black, brown and grey of winter; I will wear Khaki pants and fun colored socks to ward off the cold.

I will try to forget that I was born in the coldest month of the year; January. I will hope that my special day will be at least sunny; I hope it won’t snow and be too “bad out” to see my friends and family on this day; it is a very big one this year.

I will try to keep myself on track for the weight loss I am so desperately trying to maintain; I cannot succumb to the comfort food, such as beef stew and chili on a cold winters day; I will try to go to the gym instead of walking outside (not that I did that too much in the summer)

I will try to be positive in my outlook on winter; because frankly who knows how many I will have left; I am getting old !!

I don’t like winter.

I am back !

Thanks to some great people at the RJ; I am back blogging. Looking forward to the experience again; I missed writing with a purpose

See you soon

Jane